I rarely (if at all) talk about my personal life whenever I make a post, and whatever tidbit I’d revealed thus far (thanks to blog chains, awards and what have you) have mostly been fairly trivial stuff. I mean, there’s no real rhyme or reason as to why I don’t other than that I never really meant for this to be a “personal” personal place.
Leap250’s Blog is the voice that I don’t get to use in everyday life. It’s here where I can talk freely about, well, whatever I want really — and what I end up wanting to talk about most is anime (among other seemingly obscure things like manga, novels, Japanese music…) Most of the friends that I talk to on a regular basis are into those things sure, but maybe only one or two of ’em would actually be willing to read the stuff that I or any other aniblogger writes.
I created this space to have it, so to speak — somewhere where I can talk to people about whatever anime-related thoughts I can think of. I absolutely, positively find genuine joy in that.
I do, however, wish to deviate from that if only for this time.
I believe it does affect this blog somewhat, but I’m more than sure enough that it would affect me as a person. As the titles states, along with my opening lines, I’ll be moving relatively soon; less than two-weeks time while I’m writing this. It’s not a simple move, like going from one house to another (but even that I doubt can be classified as “simple”), nor is it a move to a different town or city.
Some of you may know that I am from the Philippines (if not, well, now you know :p). I even say over at my MAL account that I’ve lived here all my life — all twenty-two years of it. And before the month ends, all that’s going to change. See, I’m migrating soon to the US.
I’ll spare you all the specifics but yeah no, actually the whole thing’s been in motion close to or since I’d been born (Filipino folks might know what I’m talking about). I was told about the eventual move close to five years now (right when I was about to graduate high school), so it wasn’t that big of a surprise — the only surprise being when we were gonna leave the country.
Fast forward to about a week after my college graduation just this year and *bam*, we have our date. I’ve had all the time in the world in those five years to gripe about how I’m leaving, and I really have. All my life decisions from the point when I’d been told that I’d be leaving the country revolved around that fact — plans I made, relationships I maintained, stuff like that.
People like to use the phrase “having to uproot your life” in this kind of situation, but that’s just it. I never had the chance to lay down much roots in the first place. In a way I thought it was good that it was like that. But now that that day is steadily nearing, it does make me a bit melancholy. Other than the hopes of me maintaining close ties with the friends and family that I’ll be leaving, the thought of that just going away simply because I’m not around is a constant dread I’ve had for some time.
The fear of starting basically from scratch I think is already a given. I mentioned that I’d just recently graduated from college, and while I tutored for a couple of months for some extra money, my first real job is gonna be at a totally different place than I expected. I’m anxiety-ridden enough as it is, and while I have come to terms with my self-deprecating tendencies, this really takes the cake.
Okay. I’m well aware that I’m being way too dramatic over this, but am I really? To those of you guys who’ve gone through something similar.. I dunno, I don’t really have a direct question I want to ask you, but instead, do tell me your experiences. I would really appreciate it.